Posts Tagged ‘hydrangea’

I routinely murder house plants for no discernable reason. Granted, sometimes it’s because I forget to water them for weeks at a time, but sometimes I do water them (I DO. Shut up.) and they still die. Apparently, Lobsterface has been trying to murder most of the plants around our house since he moved in seven years ago, but so far he’s been unsuccessful. When I moved in, he had high hopes that my toxicity to indoor plants would naturally affect the outdoor plants as well, but so far they seem to be surviving just fine, despite the gallons of bleach he pours on them every year.

Don’t tell the DEC.

At some point, we (or maybe just I) would like to turn our forest of a backyard into an actual yard where one can sit with a cup of coffee and a book, or with friends around the fire pit we’re someday going to get around to. Here’s what it looks like right now. Ignore that blurry corgi in the foreground.


See? Plenty of not-dead foliage. I’m really hoping that my black thumb doesn’t infect the lovely little hydrangea bushes that we just planted.

so perky

We started out with an empty, boring stretch of lawn next to our back steps, the steps we most often use for going in and out of the house. Originally, we bought four plants and planned to put 2 on either side of the steps, but neither of us are super awesome at pre-planning and measuring things, so, when we got home, we noticed that the window AC unit we keep in the kitchen dumps it’s water right there next to the steps. And full-grown hydrangea bushes are about four feet wide and tall, so we didn’t want the AC unit and the plants fighting over space.


So, we just planted one to the left of the steps and planted the others along the wall on the other side. Here are all the pretty hydrangeas, waiting for their new home.


So pretty.

so pretty

I planted them one-by-one, I didn’t dig a bunch of holes and then plant them all. I don’t know if that needed to be explained, but I don’t get paid for short blog posts. I don’t get paid for long blog posts, either, but that’s neither here nor there.

So! First I measured about two feet from the steps.


Then I dug me a hole a bit deeper and about twice as wide as the root ball of my first hydrangea plant.


I found a worm, but I didn’t take any pictures of him/her (get it? because earthworms are hermaphroditic? Sigh, I amuse me.). Here’s the plant in the hole. I didn’t leave the little plastic bucket on there forever, it’s just easier to see the size of the root ball in relation to the size of the hole (that’s what she said) this way. I think that some plants come in biodegradable buckets that you can just plant, but these did not.


Next, I took the dirt that I’d dug up and mixed in some “all purpose, natural fertilizer”, which was basically cow poo and compost. It didn’t smell like cow poo, which actually disappointed me a little. I grew up on a dairy farm, and cow poo is still one of my favorite smells. Neville agrees with me, Lobsterface does not.


And then I filled in the hole. There are just too many That’s What She Said joke opportunities in this post about holes, so I’m going to go ahead and let you come up with your own. You may submit them in the comments.

filled in

Then I did the same thing with the other three plants.

all done

more all done

Nevill thinks he helped by barking a ton. I don’t know, maybe there were evil squirrels waiting to attack me the whole time, and the only reason I’m still alive is that they were afraid of my ferocious dog.

guard corg

I put little marble pebbles at the base of each plant, but I didn’t take pictures of that part.

After I let them settle in for a few hours, I went out to check on them again. A couple of the plants were pretty sad-looking, but the one in the shade was doing fantastic, so I set up this awning thing using an old bedsheet and some sawhorses. Like a boss.



I thought I’d killed them right off the bat, but in the cool of the next morning, they looked way better, so I think they’ll be ok. I didn’t take a picture of that either. Sorry.

Finally, I gave Neville many kisses for being my assistant/body guard. He hasn’t murdered me for it yet, so that’s good, I guess.


Does anyone have any advice for me about keeping these lovelies alive?


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