I couldn’t sleep last night, so in the middle of the night, I got up and cut myself bangs. As one does. This conversation happened when I crawled back into bed.
Me: “HUFF”
Lobsterface: “What’s wrong, love?”
Me: “I just cut myself bangs and I think it was a mistake.”
Lobsterface: “Can I see?” pulls out cell phone and turns on the flashlight feature because that’s easier than actually turning on the lamp. Apparently.
Me: “You could turn on the lamp, you know.”
Lobsterface: peers at me, all squinty like, as if I’m a beetle on a pin “…meh, I’ll still make out with you.” turns off flashlight, rolls over, goes to sleep.
Caulk and Crinolines 